LOVE HAS NO LIMITS

While Dad was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked stone & scratched lines on the side of the car.
In his anger, Dad took the child's hand & hit it many times, not
realizing he was using a wrench.
At the hospital, his child said "Dad when will my fingers grow back?"
Dad was so hurt.
He went back to car and kicked it a lot of times.
Sitting back he looked at the scratches, child wrote "I LOVE YOU DAD"

Anger and Love has no limits...

 

Breaking Family Ties That Bind

When we really examine our fears about something, we sometimes notice that the fear we have is not based on our own experience. Often, if we trace our fear back to its source, we find that one of our parents may have handed it down to us. For example, your mother or father may have had an intense fear of lack of money, stemming from their own life experiences. If that fear was not resolved by the time you came into the picture, chances are you inherited it. Meanwhile, you may have no actual experience of lacking money, so being fearful doesn't make sense, and it may even block you from doing certain things you want to do.

Keeping in mind that your parents were only trying to protect you, and that most of the errors in judgment they made were made with the best intentions, it might be time to release this fear symbolically. You cannot resolve someone else's fear for them, but you can decide to let go of it on your own behalf. Whether your parents are still alive or not, it is best to do this in a symbolic way, using visualization and, if you like, ritual. One simple visualization involves inviting your parent to sit across from you in your heart space and sharing your desire to move on from this fear, letting them know that you will not carry it anymore. You may be surprised at the response you get, because it's possible they will be proud of you, grateful, and proud of your courage.

The more we do this deep inner work with our fears, the better we will be able to parent our own children without burdening them with fears that don't belong to them. Some of us will do as much of this work as we can before we become parents, while others will be working on this even as our children become adults. Either way, the effects will be felt, because once we break our ties to the fears of the past, our children's ties to those fears are greatly weakened, so it's important to remember that it's never too late.

 

CHILDREN AND ANGELS

I have often felt that children are far closer to the angels than we adults are. They seem far more ready to share joy freely and to give love unconditionally to others. They seem to easily know how to celebrate life, laugh, smile, and embrace delight just as God meant for all of us to do. Nothing brought this point home to my heart more clearly than a story a friend of mine recently shared with me about her daughter.

     Her daughter while mentally handicapped has a soul that shines brighter than a thousand suns. She loves everyone and is never afraid to express her affection to others. Once when she was at Church with her Mom it came time to give others the sign of peace. Now most people do this with a handshake or a gentle touch. This little Angel Child , however, wasn't one to hold back on her love. She turned around and gave a sweet, elderly lady next to her a huge hug full of both energy and love. Later after Church that same lady with tears in her eyes approached the girl's Mom and spoke to her. "My husband just died a week ago", she said. "I felt so alone that I was going to go home and take some pills to end my life today, but now thanks to your little girl I believe that there still is love in this world."

    Our children can teach us so much about love. Our children can teach us so much about joy. Our children can teach us so much about life. Let us not ignore the lessons they give us every day. Let us instead learn from them and share more love and joy with others in our own lives. God loves us and put us here to love each other. Sometimes we forget this, but thankfully God is patient and forgiving with us. He never fails to send us joyous angels and happy children to guide us back to love again.

 

I'm shopping for Priyanka's B'day gift

Harman is on a family holiday in Dubai..

"Just the four of us my dad, mom, my sister Rowena and me. We took off for a 5-days trip to Dubai. We all needed the break.

The last two years and particularly the last few weeks have been very stressful for all of us. So here we are, just chilling and shopping.

Actually the ladies are doing all the shopping. I'm just their bag boy, " says Harman sounding completely relaxed and far from the tense wreck that his well-wishers in the entertainment industry would like him to be.

"In the past two weeks (after the release of Love Story 2050) I've learnt so much about life. I think I'm much wiser now."

'Wise' Harman intends to go shopping in Dubai for his girlfriend Priyanka whose birthday is on the 18th.

"I don't know as yet what I'll get her. But girls like anything you give then in a gift-wrap and with a smile, trust me on that."

Have the courage to say 'no' to your children

Train your children to digest disappointments, denials and refusals.

 

Modern life is not only competitive but also stressful in many aspects. Children have to gradually adapt themselves to this demanding environment at some point of time. This is exactly why parents need to train their young ones accordingly. Children must be taught to take a `no', not only from parents but also friends, teachers, neighbours and even strangers.

 

Discipline begins at home

 

Some parents tend to pamper children unreasonably. Abundance of anything, ranging from toys, games, sweets and chocolates, spoils children at a very young age. In fact, research has shown that children brought up in over-affluent families tend to lose their faculty of imagination. Since they have too much on their platter, it becomes difficult for them to yearn for anything. Therefore, parents should not bombard their children with more than what is needed. The need for this inherent discipline has to be internalized by parents themselves. Parents should be prepared to prepare their children for the rough and the smooth in life.
 

Never satisfy all demands 

 

Although parents derive immense satisfaction from fulfilling their children's wishes, they should deliberately leave some wishes unfulfilled. If every whim and fancy of the child is entertained, the child grows up to be a very self-centered person. Even a single `no' can put him or her off balance. Such children take their whims to an illogical extent. For instance, if they fancy a person who does not reciprocate their feelings, they may get violent out of frustration. Or they might not be able to digest rejection in a job interview later in life. Over pampered children are also prone to acute depression mainly because they cannot take disappointments in the right spirit.
 

Never encourage comparisons

 

Parents should always discourage their child's tendency to compare his or her material assets with other children. For instance, if a child demands a toy merely because a neighbour has got a new one, such a craving should not be entertained. Such children end up constantly comparing themselves with other people. Parents have to curb this tendency at a very early stage.

 

Appeasement does not have long-term effect

 

In order to keep their daily routine hassle-free, parents tend to please children. However, overt appeasement has short-term gains. Children tend to lose respect for their parents. They look upon parents as mere scarecrows. The policy does not pay in the long run. Therefore parents should not enter into a popularity contest. They must have the courage to call a spade a spade. 
   

 

Some parents tend to please children out of guilt. For instance, a working mother comes home late. She is harried. She does not have time for attending to the child's homework. The child asks for an ice cream after dinner. Despite knowing the fact that an ice cream can cause a bad throat, the mother gives in. The child is smart enough to know the reason behind the bribe/favour. This scenario is universally applicable. Therefore, parents should not let guilt get the better of them. They must have the courage to face the child's tantrums.

The Horrors of Homework

Is it for parents or for children?

 

Today homework has become a nightmare for both parents and children. In a time when it seems that every child needs to be a superachiever to survive, the pressure on them to excel not just academically but otherwise is tremendous. While children have never been enthusiastic about doing homework in the first place, they now view homework as being the last straw that broke the camel's back as they try to juggle school, tuition classes and other extracurricular activities. 

 

Tips for dealing with homework hassles

 

• Appoint a specific time to do homework every day. Parents should try to ensure that they are around at this time so that they are on hand if they are needed. 
• Parents should find out the schedule of tests planned for the week and help their children organize their homework time so that they are well prepared.
• Avoid power struggles. Confronted with a whining, tantrumatic child, a parent should first try to maintain her cool. She should try to lighten the atmosphere, offer help is she thinks the child needs it, or just leave the room, leaving the child to his own devices. But she should brook no arguments from the child and be uncompromising about the fact that the homework must be done, and done immediately. 
• Parents should regularly encourage their children and praise their efforts. When a child does well on a test, for instance, parents while applauding his achievement should remind him that doing his homework properly and being prepared made the difference. 
• Parents should make their children feel that they are interested in their work and offer to help if necessary. But at no point should parents do their children's work for them. This will adversely affect a child's motivation and initiative, as he will feel that at the slightest difficulty his parents will bail him out. 
• Remember that if a child is cheating on schoolwork and blindly copying homework from others, it may be a sign that she is feeling unduly pressured and afraid to admit that she cannot cope. In such a case, it is advisable that parents speak to the teacher or the school counselor. 
• Make provision for a special place in which the child can do her homework, as if it were her personal office. 

 

 

In the Eye of the Beholder

One night, my eight-year-old son, Zakariya, and I were scanning the TV listings for something to watch.

 

"Oooh, there's a beauty contest on," I said. Zakariya asked me what a beauty contest was, and I explained that it was a contest to choose the most beautiful woman in the world.

 

Then my son thrilled me by asking with complete sincerity, "Why aren't you in the contest, Mommy?"