Friday, March 14, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Teaching Children Virtues & Values
| Children are the pillars of our tomorrow is a statement that is repeated time and again. And it is an axiom; they are our pillars of the coming time. But then do we nurture them into becoming healthy human beings? By healthy human beings here is not meant the physical well being, but the good human being. And how do you define a good human being? One with virtues and values that keeps them in the realm of working towards the benefit of humanity. |
How can children imbibe within themselves the virtues and values? Well, this is the primary responsibility of parents and other immediate family members, followed by school authorities. The values and virtues of an individual is sown in their childhood and nurtured as they grow up. After all nobody is born a criminal, it is what they become as result of what they gain from their surroundings.
Depending on the way we bring up our children, we decide our own future. It is vital that in the formative years we give them quality time and attention. We teach them to discriminate between the good, bad and the ugly. WE have to inculcate into them positive emotions like love and compassion and teach them actions of kindness and generosity. At the same time we have to help them do way with the negatives of hatred, anger, jealousy, selfishness, etc.
Your child is like a plant. You sow the seeds and also reap the benefits of its growth and development. First and foremost you as a parent have to realize your responsibility in nurturing a child to growing into a good human being. And it is just not upto anyone of the parents, but both together to inculcate the values and virtues into your child.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
THE TWO PARENTS ENTERS A NEW RELATIONSHIP?
CHILD UNDER TRIAL
HOW COMFORTABLE IS THE CHILD IF EITHER OF THE TWO PARENTS ENTERS A NEW RELATIONSHIP?
If Life were to be a cinematic romance, complications would have inhabited some unknown planet. Think Michael Hoffiman’s One fine day, a film about two divorced individuals who realize they are made for each other within 16-odd hours. But the time the film ends the kids of both the protagonists have approved of the relationship. That is perfection in its ideal state of being – pure bliss.
Cut to real life, in one house, a child is confounded whenever the father argues with his wife because of his friendliness with another woman. Though he loves his dad, the kid has no idea why he rarely comes home. He also can’t understand why he leaves the house whenever the woman’s car stops outside, leaving him with his mother. Slowly, the child retreats into a cocoon of self imposed solitude. He starts hating his father’s friend without knowing why?
In another case, a lady takes her child with he whenever she goes to meet her boyfriend. Although both try to conceal their relationship, the kid figures out what’s going on. After that happens, it just cannot stand the guy. Elsewhere, two kids are decanted into the unknown after their mother divorces their alcoholic dad. When the woman finds another man later, they cannot accept him. Both are carrying a baggage of memories, That hurts.
Although a child of divorced parents doesn’t feel socially inferior any more, can it be comfortable if either of the two parents enters a new relationship? “When the child is very yong, it may not understand. Bit if it is grown up, the relationship between either of the two parents and the new person matters a lot.”
If it is more than five years old, everything depends on how the parent can explain to the child. If it gets due importance, things become fine in nine out of 10 cases when it has to accept a new father. While accepting a new mother, the problem become complex more often. The dislike is a lot more, because fathers generally have a tendency of not speaking to the children but merely telling them. Barring exceptions, the child suffers from a greater emotional void because of the man’s approach.
Once a new person reconstructs the family equation, the family equation, the child at times is completely indifferent. It is so used to complete domination that it gives up on life. If either of the two parents is an alcoholic, the acceptance levels in a child are very low. It is so busy typing up the loose ends of the previous relationship that adjustment problems become serious.
Once trapped a situational quagmire, the child gets baffled. If old enough, the reality sinks in. But how well it can adjust unusually depends on how both the new person and the biological parent guide its mind in the journey towards acceptance. That isn’t easy, but then, no story of real human relationships gets a new script in one fine day.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Pregnancy and a career
Pregnancy is a unique experience. It is also a period when the woman needs to take maximum care of her health under expert medical supervision.
Although working outside the home is a personal decision taken by the parents-to-be, there should be certain things that should be kept in mind to ensure safety for the mother and the baby.
Should the mother work?
Most working women do not immediately stop working as soon as they come to know of their pregnancy. The question remains here whether they should continue to work or not. Another confusing issue that most women face is the dilemma about when they should stop working. Though there is no hard and fast rule regarding this, most women stop some time in their last trimester depending on their comfort.
Some professions which may be harmful to the mother and the baby are:
- Industries where the mother is exposed to very loud sounds
- Factories producing harmful chemicals, fabrics or where conditions of smoke and dust prevail
- Strenuous sports like athletics
- Jobs involving irregular shift timings.
How can stress be relieved at work?
Though all stress reducing mechanisms are essentially the same, pregnant women should take extra care. If it is possible, the pregnant woman should ask for a change in her department. If that is not possible, some of the following measures can be taken:
- She should take frequent breaks to rest in order to avoid fatigue.
- If the job requires sitting for long periods of time, she should get up periodically and take a short stroll.
- While sitting, a comfortable chair should be chosen which also takes care of the mother's posture. She should put her feet on a stool so that swelling in her legs does not occur.
- Deep breathing and light exercises may help.
- Listening to light music may also be helpful.
- She should drink plenty of water throughout the day. This not only helps to keep the skin healthy, but also ensures that swelling does not occur.
- Clothing should be loose and comfortable to allow passage of air.
The amount of work should be kept manageable and some fixed timings should be maintained.
What are the provisions for maternity leave?
Every organisation has provisions for a specified period of time that is designated as maternity leave. This may vary form 3-6 months and is usually a paid leave. However, though leave may be granted, most women may have to undergo subtle discrimination once her colleagues come to know that she is pregnant. Thus, it is a good idea to tell the immediate supervisor about the pregnancy. This makes it easier to dispel any doubts or misunderstandings between the employer and the employee. In India, usually a maternity leave is for 12 weeks and the employer pays for the leave. In case of a miscarriage, a woman is entitled to 6 weeks paid leave from the day of the miscarriage.
The Maternity Benefit Act, 1961
The Central Government passed the Maternity Benefit Act in 1961 which extends to the whole of India, and to every establishment belonging to the government – industrial, commercial or agricultural. It provides for certain benefits which are granted to a woman during her pregnancy. Also she cannot be dismissed from service on account of her pregnancy.
The maximum permissible period of maternity leave is 12 weeks, with 6 weeks leave to be taken before delivery and 6 weeks immediately after the child is born. A woman can ask for light work before she goes off on leave. The employer cannot reduce her salary in this scenario. The maternity benefits can only be withdrawn if the employee joins some other organisation during that time.
Attending a child marriage is a crime
Attending a child marriage is a crime
If you think a 100 lies are permissible
to perform a wedding, you are mistaken.
Imprisonment awaits all those who attend,
support and even perform the marriage of
a girl below 18 years of age.
This is the new Amendment made to the
Prohibition of Child Marriages Act.
Under the new provisions,
elders, relatives, friends, guests, catering personnel,
the priest who performs the marriage
and other outsourcing agencies
who support the wedding will be put behind bars.
The new Amendment had already come into force.
However, till date no case has been reported.
"Earlier, the Act mainly focussed on prevention
aspects of child marriages.
Now, we are talking about prohibition."
Another major concern is the alarming rate
of female foeticide confronting the country.
Already, the impact of female foeticide is being felt
in States like Rajasthan, Haryana and Punjab
where men are finding it difficult to marry.
In some cases,
men are moving to States like Kerala
and bringing girls from there for marriage.
Children and Television
Children between the ages two and 11 spend an average of one full day per week watching television. This is a very familiar scenario in many Indian homes today. With both parents away at work, in the urban, middle class families this trend is very common. Even when parents are at home, watching television is still the favoured family pastime. Research shows that on an average, a typical Indian household has the television set turned on for about seven hours each day. Kids and teenagers between six to 17 watch three to four hours of television a day. Watching television is a passive event. Children and adults remain completely immobile while viewing televisions. Most of these viewing experiences are quiet and non – interactive. Children absorb millions of images from the television set depending upon his choices.
What are the guidelines for watching TV?
Here are some of the guidelines to help you judge what kind of programmes will be beneficial for your children.
Television is fine when it deals with:
- Promotion of creativity and critical thinking
- Engages children to think and ask questions
- Encourages positive behaviours
- Encourages your child to read
- Reinforces the values that are important to you
- Inspires them to learn more
- Helps them to appreciate other cultures
- Entertains your children
Television is a problem when:
- Exposes children to violence as a means of problem solving
- Occupies too much of your their time
- Introduces subject matter that is not appropriate for children
- Allures children to buy different products
- It might promote negative behaviours
Can TV be a worthwhile teacher?
Moderate amounts of television viewing may be beneficial for the child, depending entirely on the type of programmes the child is watching, and the kind of supervision they are getting from their parents. Television can teach a child about the world and about people that they may not have access to. There are quite a few interesting as well as very informative programmes on television. A well – guided television viewing increases the general vocabulary of the child, provides the opportunities for them to learn about all kinds of things, which helps them in making choices regarding the area of interest. They get exposure to a wide range of activities that they may not get a chance to encounter. Television is probably the most effective of all media that aims to create social awareness.
Some tips for balanced viewing:
- Work together to keep a time chart of your child’s activities, including television viewing, homework, and play with friends. Then discuss what you believe to be a balanced set of activities.
- Set a weekly viewing limit. At the beginning of the week have your child select programmes you approve fit for watching.
- Encourage planned viewing. Have programme choices in mind before turning the set on so that it does not hamper their studies.
- Remember that children learn from their parents. If you watch a lot of television, the chances are that your child will also develop the same habit.
- If you want to improve the quality, look for the programmes that are designed for your child’s age group.
- It is very important to balance entertainment with other activities for the all round development of your child.
How is television linked to violence?
The risk of viewing any form of violence on television is that the child learns to behave in a violent manner. However viewing television violence does not necessarily cause a child to act in a violent manner, but can contribute to promoting a view that violence is common and acceptable in everyday life.
Research done study the effects of brutality in television programmes
on aggression in children, showed that the group of children who were exposed to violent television programmes exhibited a noticeably greater degree of aggression towards their toys and other children. On the other hand, the group that was not allowed to watch violent programmes displayed less aggression.
What should parents do?
It is important that parents limit the hours that a child watches television, besides censoring what he watches. Television should not be allowed to interfere with meal times and sleeping hours. Parents should work out a timetable for watching television with their children. This should reduce the need for parents to constantly nag their children about watching television.
Television need not be viewed solely as a negative force. It has its advantages. Even if a child is watching a good educational programme, he will not learn as much if he is watching alone. If he is watching with another child or an adult who makes comments or asks questions about the programme, this will help the child to develop new ideas. Children who are interested in a particular programme may be motivated to read more about the subject of these programmes or question adults about it.
Parents have to resign themselves to the fact that television is here to stay. So they just have to learn to deal with the problem.
Diet during pregnancy
DrNDTV: When a woman gets pregnant, does she have to eat for two people?
Dr. Sharma: Eating in pregnancy depends on the weight in the beginning. In the first trimester one does not need extra calories per se, but one needs to have lots of vitamins and folic acid because all tissues are growing and the fetus is beginning to form so vitamins and minerals are most essential and of course protein follows. As the trimester progresses, one must start eating the extra diet in terms of proteins because the body is growing inside. You need lots of milk or milk products and whole grains. Healthy eating is very important during pregnancy, you must eat a healthy normal diet.
DrNDTV: Why has diet become such a big issue nowadays?
Dr. Chandra: Now it is become a matter of survival of the fittest. These days intelligence of a child and the mental faculty depend a lot on the diet the mother has during pregnancy. So most of our educated girls are quite positive over these contributions that is why they like to eat the right type of diet before and during pregnancy.
DrNDTV: Most women end up gaining a lot of weight when they are pregnant, and once the baby is delivered the weight is still intact. Why does this happen?
Dr. Sharma: They generally go wrong at the beginning because when they are eating food that is rich in calories, for example, we recommend a lot of milk ie. low fat milk but they end up taking high fat milk. There is a lot of pressure on using ghee in diet especially in North India. People usually take a lot ghee in their diet. So, if you take too much of refined food and dense food in terms of fats and sugars, of course, you will gain weight. You have to eat satiety food that stays in the stomach for a long time and not refined food. This way you do not gain too much of weight.
DrNDTV: When does the food craving in pregnancy start? Can this be the cause for the excessive weight gain?
Dr. Chandra: In the first trimester it is very common to see these cravings and I don't think we should tell them to stop that as long as they take hygienic food and whatever they feel like they should eat. Subsequently if we find that they are going overboard with their weight gain then we advise them which is usually during the second trimester and much more in the third trimester.
DrNDTV: Would you say that doctors nowadays tell woman not to eat too much instead of eating?
Dr. Chandra: Yes, we have to tell them because majority of them eat things which we would not want them to eat. But in the first trimester we need not worry about this.
Caller: I am an anaemic and right now my haemoglobin count is 10.1. We are planning a kid but we don't know what should I have because whatever I have my haemoglobin count does not go above 10.1.
Dr. Chandra: Haemoglobin of count 10.1 is not too bad though by certain standards it is bad but by the Indian standard it is not so bad, so you should not worry. You should first analyse if there is any other cause for this anaemia. We must exclude the possibility of your carrying a thalassaemic trait. So once that is clear you can concentrate on your diet. Take a high protein, high iron containing diet and may be some supplement of vitamins. Also take folic acid right from now.
DrNDTV: What is the role of folic acid in pregnancy?
Dr. Chandra: These days we recommend the intake of folic acid even during pre-pregnancy stage ie. when the person is planning a pregnancy. It is good to take folic acid because there is documented proof that outcome of the fetus is much better in women who take folic acid during pregnancy.
SMS: I am in the third month of my pregnancy, what food should I eat to relieve constipation?
Dr. Sharma: You need to take a lot of fiber in your diet. First of all when you take breakfast, you should not take white bread, either take whole wheat bread or porridge or oats. During lunch and dinner, you should take whole wheat gram or whole wheat flour. You can mix some soybeans or Bangal gram flour into it. You should take lot of fruits and vegetables. Drink lot of fluids too. Refined carbohydrate should be avoided and more roughage should be added to the diet.
DrNDTV: What exercises should a three months pregnant lady do?
Dr. Sharma: She should walk to maintain the physical activity to the maximum.
Caller: My wife is pregnant and feels very hungry. What kind of food should I give to her?
Dr. Sharma: This is very normal and she will feel hungry as the baby keeps growing. She needs to take a lot of proteins in her diet. She should take at least two glasses of milk and two bowls of pulses and lots of soybean. She should not take too much of hollow calories like sugar and fats. Hunger is normal but foods that are high in protein and roughage will curtail the hunger and she will not gain extra weight.
DrNDTV: Is it advisable to eat smaller meals?
Dr. Sharma: It is more satisfying especially if you are not working and you are home. Then you can take a small breakfast at 11 and then take your lunch. It is much better to have smaller meals but then try to curtail on too much of fat and sugar.
Caller: I am pregnant since five months and I am carrying twins. What should be my diet and how much weight do I need to put on? The doctor says it is between 11 to 14 kgs for a normal child but I am carrying twins so will it be more than 14 kgs?
Dr. Chandra: The aim should be to put on one to two kilos in a month. You must eat at short intervals and in small amounts. Don't eat too much because if you eat too much you will feel uncomfortable. So, eat at short intervals, nutritious food and cut short on your fat and sugar intake.
Caller: I am two months pregnant and I am suffering from polio in my left leg since I was 10 months old. I want to know whether I have to be more careful about my diet and what precautions should I take during pregnancy?
Dr. Chandra: You don't have to worry about your polio as of now. You are just like any other pregnant girl, so you eat whatever your doctor advises. You have to avoid excess weight gain and subsequently when you are near term, then your doctor will decide whether your pelvic consideration is bad for normal delivery and that is the only difference. Otherwise, there is no difference at all.
SMS: I am four months pregnant and I have heartburns, how can I avoid them?
Dr. Sharma: Heartburn is quite common in early pregnancy so you should avoid taking too many spices. You should not remain on an empty stomach for too long, take small frequent meals and avoid deep-fried food. Whenever you are hungry, take cold milk or something that will neutralise the acidic effect.
DrNDTV: What should women suffering from diabetes and hypertension do during pregnancy?
Dr. Chandra: In the beginning they have to be very conscious. The factors that contribute to the exaggeration of these symptoms of hypertension or diabetes are to be curbed right from the beginning. In the diet, they have to be careful of reducing salt intake and sugar. They have to get checkups done very frequently to keep a check on blood pressure and diabetes, and if detected they should be treated accordingly by diet or medication.
Caller: I am four months pregnant and have put on only two kilos - is it fine?
Dr. Chandra: Yes, it is absolutely okay. Do not worry.
SMS: I am eight months pregnant. Is there any special diet?
Dr. Sharma: You should take a balanced diet and as mentioned before take a lot of proteins. You should take two to three glasses of milk and if you don't like milk you can take paneer or curd. You should continue with whatever exercise allowed to you by your doctor.
DrNDTV: What are the harmful effects of eating too many carbohydrates in pregnancy?
Dr. Chandra: When there is excess intake of carbohydrates, there is excessive weight gain which is not desirable. The woman feels bloated and some of them may develop gas problem too.
Caller: My wife is seven months pregnant and wants to have garlic and ginger food. Should she be allowed to have it?
Dr. Chandra: There is no harm in having garlic and ginger but she should try to avoid too much of fried things.
SMS: I am 11 weeks pregnant, 35 kilos, can I eat dry fruits?
Dr. Sharma: Yes you can take dry fruits especially almonds.